Choosing between LOVE and SEX...

There has been this long-standing question: Would you go with the one you love or the one who loves you? It can be more difficult than a board exam question but that’s just how it goes; life sometimes throws a joke on us, and the difficult part is how we have to make a stand.

Now here is another eternal puzzle: if you only have one option, would you stay in a relationship that has great sex but less love or in a partnership with pure love yet sex is bad? You might say this question is a no-brainer. It’s easy to say you’ll choose a relationship with greater love over sex; yet let’s still try to see both sides of the coin.

It will burn you big time to sleep every night with a guy who is “Microsoft” (micro and soft) or with a partner that can never bring your sail to the harbor. You’ll only end up resorting to porn flicks or fantasizing about your ex who happens to be a jerk yet is gifted with a really nice, huge member. If your man cannot satisfy your needs in bed, you end up hanging out with friends too often, all the while pretending that all is good, including the humping. But if you remain unable to resolve this issue, the relationship will eventually crumble; it is in fact one of the grounds for annulment or divorce.

On the other hand, what if sex is heavenly but you remain just that: a fuck buddy with no commitment to hold on to, with nothing more than a smoke and shower after sex? Would you settle for this kind of situation? The good thing about this is you’ll have a lot of happy hormones, making your immune system more efficient. There are also no emotional attachments, allowing you to have more with another person, if you wanted to. Yet the downside is quite harsh: you’ll feel like a big slut, used and misused. And there will be a time when you’ll finally get satiated.

Sex alone would only make you lonely, while love without great sex would leave you quick-tempered and rose petal-dry. Love and sex should go together; it should co-exist and complement each other. If one is missing, the couple should strive to obtain both. It’s always better if the relationship is founded on true love: love that is less of a concept and more of a decision and passion that springs from within.

Humans have a hierarchy of needs. If one need is unsatisfied, you will get fixated. No matter how hard you try to move further, your unsatisfied needs will haunt you. So it is your job to pursue love, then real making love, and finally nirvana.

How not to say "I love you"

Have you ever been in a relationship when you constantly say, “I love you”? Or were you in a situation when you can’t even say those three words?

The most important lesson about the words “I love you” is this: Your actions must always be in-sync with these words—or the meaning behind this statement becomes null and void!

When one is saying “I love you” too many times a day (that means three times or more), this signals an underlying anxiety disorder. Just as a person with an anxiety disorder might check over and over again to make sure a door is locked.

Sometimes these are almost like compulsive acts. If someone really does it that often, she could be seeking reassurance. Perhaps she feels he is such a wonderful catch and she can’t do any better, and that he has more options that could make her feel insecure in the relationship. Being directly or indirectly aware of a power differential can lead to anxiety and reassurance seeking.

To prevent from possibly annoying your guy, here are some tips for saying those three little (but so big!) words.

1) Don’t rush; be sure to really mean what you say. You may express your feelings on the phone, in person, on line, by mail. Choose your favorite way, you may change it at any time. Think about how you'd like to let your partner know the way you feel, keeping in mind that uttering those words may give birth to a lifelong memory. If spontaneity works for you, wait for the perfect moment. If you're more methodical, consider writing a love letter first, then telling your mate in person the next time you get together.

2) After you’ve said, “I love you,” tell him the specific traits and habits that you love about him. Don’t just repeat this generic phrase or you will chew the entire flavor out of it. Hold his hands, and make eye contact, this gives the moment the intimacy it deserves.

3) Don’t say your first “I love you” during a time of intensity—be that either making love or making war. If you say it during sex, your partner may doubt the sincerity of your proclamation. If you say it during a fight, you might only be doing so to gain control of the situation.

Remember it’s always better to learn new ways to say or express what you feel.

Things you should know about your body...

Here's an inside look at how women’s bodies work..

1. Some Bacteria Are Good For You
Bugs can be beneficial in certain parts of your body. The average woman’s vagina is loaded with bacteria, fungi, and viruses, and they’re there for a reason: they usually promote cleanliness. By absorbing debris and fighting one another, they help keep the vaginal environment balanced and healthy. Don’t be overzealous with soap and perfume products as this area of your body is designed to look after itself.

2. Thin Bra Straps Cause Headaches
According to doctors at the University of Texas in Dallas, a tight strap that digs into your shoulders can put downward pressure on the cervical nerve that runs from your back to your shoulder. The result can be frequent headaches, neck pain or numbness. Over time, it can cause pain that radiates all the way from your shoulders to your hands. Have your bra size properly measured. Throw away bras with skinny straps that dig in.

3. Women Have More Grey Matter Than Men
Men may have bigger brains, but women have more of the grey matter that’s vital for information processing. This explains why they perform just as well on intelligence tests, despite the difference in brain size.

4. It’s Essential For women to Drink Safely
Women’s bodies contain less water and more body fat, which means alcohol reaches the liver more quickly and in higher concentrations than in men. We not only get drunk more quickly, but are also more vulnerable to long-term damage to our heart, liver, pancreas, and nervous system. Hormones play a role, too. Women become even more vulnerable to the effects of alcohol around their period. Drink safely—no more than two to three units a day (one unit equals ten milliliters), no more than 14 units a week, with a few alcohol-free days. And be sure to have food when drinking. Everyone underestimates how much they drink, so be totally honest—or you’re just fooling yourself. More than six units in one sitting counts as binge drinking, which in the short term doubles your risk of stroke.

5. The Time of The Month Affects How You Feel Pain
Your perception of pain alters during your menstrual cycle. Burn your hand around that time and it may hurt more. Researchers at the University of Michigan found that estrogen is vital for regulating the brain’s natural ability to suppress pain. Just before ovulation, when estrogen levels are highest, the brain’s natural painkilling system responds more powerfully, releasing chemicals to dampen pain signals. But when estrogen levels fall, the system is less efficient.

6. Our Bodies Aren’t Designed To Walk Upright
If women walked on four legs, they’d have fewer pelvic floor problems. In women’s bodies, the pelvic floor muscles have a lot of work to do. We have the weight of the bladder plus the strain of pregnancy and childbirth. The pelvic floor is the only area of the body that undergoes such stresses. To strengthen it, tighten the muscles around your back passage, vagina, and front passage and pull up inside as if you’re trying to stop passing urine. It should feel like a ‘lift and squeeze up’ inside. Aim for 10 quick pull-ups and 10 slow, holding in for four seconds, three times daily. Do as many as you can and build up gradually.

7. Women’s Brains Make Less Serotonin
It may be why women are two to three times more likely to suffer depression, and why a low carb diet can leave you irritable. Eating carbohydrate0rich food, such as fruit, bread, rice and pasta, stimulates the production of serotonin—a neurotransmitter that helps to boost mood.

8. One in Four Women is Iron Deficient
A recent nutrition survey shows many women aren’t getting enough iron. Iron helps make hemoglobin, found in red blood cells, which transport oxygen to the body tissues. Red meat is the best source of iron; it’s also found in dried fruit and green leafy vegetables. Avoid tea and coffee with meals—they can hinder iron absorption.

9. Giving Up Smoking Has Greater Benefits For Women
Women smokers may be at a higher risk of heart attack than men who smoke, and women are prone to developing incurable Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease (COPD), which kills more women than breast cancer. Smoking also increases the risk of at least ten cancers, and women smokers are more likely than men to develop lung cancer.

10. Drugs Can Work Differently For Women
Doctors are finding out that men and women react differently to certain drugs—certain antibiotics and some medication for hypertension are more effective in women, for example, as are morphine-like painkillers.

11. We’re All Very Different
Vaginas and cervixes come in many shapes and sizes. If you find smears uncomfortable, tell the nurse or doctor as speculums do come in a variety of sizes. Sometimes women feel discomfort because the doctor or nurse has to search for the cervix. Wombs and cervixes can be tilted at various angles in different women and it may be hard for the doctor or nurse to find it immediately.

12. Killer Heels Really Are Bad For Your Health
Worn too often, high heels can cause painful bunions, calluses, and corns—and it’s not just the feet that suffer. High heels can affect your posture, putting stress on the spine, resulting in back problems. Long periods of wearing high heels can shorten calf muscles, leading to back, hip, and knee difficulties.

13. Diabetic Women are More At Risk of Heart Attack
A man with diabetes has double the risk of heart disease; for women, the risk is raised up to seven times.

14. Gum Disease Can Trigger premature Birth
Studies show that women with severe gum disease may be twice as likely to have a pre-term baby and may be at more risk of pre-eclampsia. Researchers at the University of Alabama think bacteria from diseased gums can trigger increases in the levels of compounds that induce labor. By giving pregnant women regular gum treatment, the team reduced premature births by up to 84 percent.

15. Women Wake More Quickly From Anesthetics
Women come round faster—in an average of seven minutes rather than the 11 it takes men to recover; possibly because women are less susceptible to anesthesia.

16. Aspirin Protects Women Against Stroke
Researchers found that while a daily aspirin reduced the risk of a first heart attack for middle-aged men, it doesn’t for women. But aspirin reduces women’s risk of stroke (an effect not seen in men) and reduces risk of heart attack in women of 65 and more.

17. Women Need To Take More Care of Their Bones
Women comprise 80 percent of those with osteoporosis. After menopause, levels of estrogen—the hormone that protects against bone loss—fall and women can lose up to 20 percent of bone mass in the first five to seven post-menopause years. But osteoporosis is preventable: Take weight-bearing exercises, don’t smoke, and get plenty of calcium and vitamin D.

18. Genes Affect Orgasms
If you’re among the one in three women who rarely or never climaxes during intercourse, it may be due to genes. When doctors at St. Thomas’ Hospital compared to 4,000 female twins they found that the ability to reach orgasm was genetic. This may have developed originally as a way of weeding out less desirable men—that is, if a man can’t bring a woman to orgasm, he is probably not a good long-term mate.

19. Heart Disease Symptoms Can Be Different
For some women, the symptoms of heart attack are the same as in men, although women may be more likely to experience indigestion-like pain around the breast bone, shortness of breath, overwhelming tiredness, and feeling generally unwell, rather than the classic, crushing chest pain. The important thing is to take symptoms seriously, whatever your age, and know your risk.

20. It’s harder For Women To Get To Sleep
The US National Sleep Foundation found 50 percent of women had disrupted sleep for two or three days round their period, when estrogen and progesterone levels fall. It’s thought that both these hormones may affect how you sleep—while progesterone may make you feel more sleepy. Peri-menopausal symptoms such as night sweats are also a factor.

21. Alzheimer’s Is a Greater Threat To Women
There are three times as many women with Alzheimer’s disease as men. However, new research has shown that women taking estrogen had lower levels of the protein beta-amyloid in their blood. In Alzheimer’s disease, beta-amyloid form “plaques” in the brain, which lead to the death of brain cells.

Reasons a guy disappears on you..

Everything was going so perfectly: the guy you like asks you out; you go on a fantastic date; he asks you out two or three more times; he seems to be really into you; you take things a little further. The next day, he’s gone. Without so much as an excuse or an explanation. How upsetting is that?

Before you tear your hair out figuring out what went wrong (and blaming yourself for that matter), realize that this might actually be the best way to go. Remember the adage “What you don’t know won’t hurt you?” The article "Why men go poof" cites one of the reasons a man disappears on you: he probably just wants to spare your feelings by not telling you what’s really on his mind—which could be along the lines of “You’re a great woman but there is no chemistry between us,” “I’m looking for casual dating and it seems you want more,” or “I just wanted a booty call.” You wouldn’t want it if he ever told you that to your face, right? He’s also probably just avoiding the drama that would ensue if he ever does.

Reasons why a guy would inexplicably stop seeing and communicating with you. Learn from these and move on. You’re probably better off without him anyway.

1. He’s chasing someone else. Men love the chase. Some even enjoy just the chase. So if he suddenly lost interest after you’ve gone out, you know he’s found another prey. Don’t take it personally.

2. He’s focused on everything but love. It could be his family, the rent he has to pay, his upcoming promotion or trouble with his boss. While your few dates may have been amazing at some point, it might have been a temporary thing to distract him from the other things going on in his life.

3. You’re a friend. The author warns women that sometimes men can’t tell when we’re interested in them. Romance can complicate friendships, and since guys value friendships as much as women do, they are always wary of elevating things to a more serious level.

4. He thinks you’re too serious. If he’s not ready to take the relationship seriously (and by this we also mean making it exclusive) then it’s not going to work. If he thinks you’re “too serious” for him, then you’re better off without him: it wasn’t clicking at the right time.

5. His damned sidekick. Guys love to have partners in crime. And if his best buddy is still playing the field and partying hard, it will still be very hard for him to pull himself away from it all.

6. He’s into one of your friends. If a guy you like happens to like one of your friends, naturally he’s going to try to get to her by being with you. This can be very misleading for you, and while usually it works itself out pretty quickly, we hope this never happens to you. Never risk your friendships for any romantic prospects.

So if you find that a once so persistent guy suddenly stops seeing or talking to you, he is most likely doing so for one of the reasons above. Spare yourself the time and trouble of finding out what went wrong. He’s probably not worth it. The right guy for you will never leave you wondering about such things.

Are you a stalker-girlfriend?

There is such a thing as a woman’s intuition, wherein we just know, when our man is cheating on us. Yet there is a thin line that separates this from simply being too paranoid—and that’s the sheer lack of trust in your partner. You must avoid at all cost (apart from cheating, of course). Trust is one of the strongest foundations of a relationship, and anything that would threaten or ruin this could spell the end of your relationship. Try to assess yourself by answering the following:

1. Are you checking his email, his phone, or his Friendster account for suspicious names and messages?
2. Are you telling “white lies” to prevent your partner from being hurt by the truth—or simply to avoid a heated argument?
3. Are you snooping around your partner’s private things (i.e. his wallet, drawer, private records—even mobile phone bills?)
4. Are you stalking your own boyfriend—by driving by his house, checking if he’s at work, or worse, following his car?
5. Are you asking one or more of your friends to spy on your partner during a gimmick, listen in on his conversations, or gather information about him for you? Or do you actually request that they take photos of him for you while he’s out?
6. Do you call or text him excessively to check up on him? Did you ring his phone at least 10 times when he still won’t pick up or reply to your messages?

If you answered “Yes” to any of these self-evaluation questions, get a grip on yourself and think of the consequences of your actions. Assess if you are being reasonable or just paranoid. By losing trust in him, you will eventually cause him to lose trust in you—ruining a potentially beautiful relationship. Don’t let that fault fall upon you, no matter what.

Top 10: Signs She's Flirting

Flirting is an important behavior that is both complex and fundamental. Everyone in the world, at some point in their lives will need to acquaint themselves with the art of flirtation if they want to experience the pleasures of the opposite sex. While there are mountains of advice to guide men on how to flirt effectively, that’s only half the story.

Men must also be able to recognize the signs she's flirting. While any one of these visual cues taken alone often won't constitute a green light, a combination of multiple flirtatious cues should pique your interest.Women can sometimes be hard to read, but if you're armed with a guide to signs she's flirting, then you're already one step ahead.

1. She approaches you to talk
Her approach may be closely tied to No. 2, but this cue takes it a step further. Cutting through any game she may be playing, her approach and specific engagement by speaking is playing her strongest flirting card. It allows her, while speaking to you, to maintain eye contact, play with her hair, lightly touch you, and mimic your mannerisms among other flirting techniques. If she’s come over to talk to you, she wants to know what you’re all about. It’s the first step in an interview process called dating.

2. She enters your personal space
Personal space, by definition, is where others are not. When a woman enters this space, say, brushing past you with a glance and a smile, she’s inviting a response with this sure sign she's flirting. The caliber and character of her invasion will give you cues as to how you should respond.

3.She makes eye contact
It has been said that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and that through the eyes truth can be gleamed. Eye contact is a sign of confidence and trust. She’s stating that she is not interested in games and that her intentions are straightforward. The duration of the eye contact is proportional to her level of initial interest.

4.She touches you
The slight touch that sends chills up both your spines and makes your hair stand on end is one of the hallmark signs she's flirting. When she reaches out and lightly touches your forearm or shoulder, hand or wrist, you know you have a live one. You need to reciprocate because there are few clearer signs she can provide.

5.She plays with her hair
While relatively simple and commonplace, in the right hands a woman's hair is a versatile weapon. When trying to get your attention, she may twirl her hair in her fingers or let it cascade in front of one eye, adding a sense of come-hither mystery to her persona.

6.She mimics your body movements
For some reason, when human beings are interested or infatuated with each other, they begin to pick up certain traits from the other person. If she’s mimicking your mannerisms -- the way you hold a drink or the way you’re sitting -- she may very well be interested in gaining your attention and is giving you solid signs she's flirting. Imitation is a rather high form of flattery, after all.

7.She isolates herself
If, after having made eye contact, she strays from her pack, then she’s trying to flirt with you. Women know that the most difficult defense for a man to penetrate is her wall of friends and well-wishers. If she’s specifically removing herself from that fortress then this is one of the sure signs she's flirting and letting you know she’s lowering her defensive barriers to let you in.

8.She draws attention to her mouth
A woman’s mouth can be extremely seductive, and she’s fully aware of this fact. Some of the effective signs she's flirting will have her applying lip gloss, running her finger across her lip or using the straw in her cocktail instead of just sipping from the glass. There is a tremendous amount of flirtatious energy tied up in a woman’s lips. Lips are flirting tools that are both potent and effective.

9.She keeps walking by
If it seems like she continues to walk by with apparently no sense of why she’s there, she’s there for you. She’s trying to get you to notice her with this obvious sign she's flirting, and you need to say something endearing. By walking past repeatedly, perhaps out of her way, she’s giving you a sense that she wants your attention, but she's making you work for it.

10.She smiles
When a woman has an interest in you, her smile can hold your attention from across a crowded room and it is definitely one of the major signs she's flirting. It takes an effort on her part to do so, so if she’s exerting this kind of effort, engage in her flirting by returning the smile.


While it may not seem like it to the average man, women flirt and spend as much time obsessing over their actions as their male counterparts. Since that’s the case, it would behoove any man to not only hone his own flirting skills, but sharpen his observational skills as well.

Why he hasn't proposed - - yet

You’ve been in a serious relationship for three to five years, you’re close to each other’s family, and you’ve shared many deep conversations and intimate moments (not to mention great sex). Or, for those who want to formalize relationships: you may have been dating seriously for at least a year or more but he still hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend. In both cases, you’re left wondering: why hasn’t he proposed?

Before you start tearing your hair out and exhausting your brain in trying to figure him out, understand the possible reasons he may have for not proposing yet and know how to deal with them.

1. He hasn’t thought of it. He doesn’t need to get to the next level the way you do. It might go against his ways to be tied to a wife at the moment. But show (not tell) him that you’re a prize catch.

2. You’re his virtual wife already—why should he make it formal? You already do for him the things a wife does: cook, shop, give advice, sex, and care for him. If you want to marry him, it has to be worth his while. “Ask yourself: What does he get if he marries me that he doesn’t get if we keep things the way they are—and is that valuable to him?” Get the correct answer to this and put it into action.

3. None of his pals are married and he doesn’t want to give up his independence. He may love you with all his heart and looks at no other woman but you, yet the thought of settling down and possibly losing his independence may discourage him. Assure him of the freedoms he will keep and new ones he’ll enjoy once you’re committed.

4. He likes it the way it is, why change? "Lucky for you, eventually he’ll realize he’s getting older. Not as quickly as women realize it, but time does come when guys realize they don’t want to be alone forever." If he speaks of such things, agree that it’s a valid concern—nothing more.

5. He is in no hurry biologically or emotionally. Guys can take no notice of the biological clock’s ticking much longer and with less consequence. And for most of them, earning money is "supplying plenty of satisfaction;" kids are not in their list of priorities because they want to maximize their “fulfillment quotient.” But he will eventually want kids. Question is: will it be with you?

6. He’s not yet ready financially. We all know it’s expensive to get married and eventually start a family. He may just be saving up or would like to be secure in his career first so he can provide for and take care of you.

7. He’s unsure about you. Realize that having been together long enough to even think of taking it to the next level is already a good sign. Maybe he’s just contemplating really well and being extra careful before he devotes himself fully to you. Just enjoy each moment with him, and he’ll soon decide that you really are the one for him.

8. He’s afraid to ask (but don’t count on it). Unless he’s really clinically torpe, he’s not afraid. He just isn’t ready, hasn’t thought of it, or simply doesn’t want to. So if you can’t wait any longer, best to get his thoughts on getting married now—specifically with you. You may not like the answer, but at least you know. But if you still have time, practice the previous tips, and the answer might sweep you both off your feet.

Practice Makes Perfect

Can you ask the girl beside you if she touches herself? Yes, ask if she masturbates, now! Bet you cannot, what about you? Do you? Or can you? And even if you can, can you talk about it openly? Well, I’m not forcing you to touch yourself but let me just tell you that it is amoral. Meaning, it can go both ways, it can do you good or it can have negative effects.

Masturbation is self-stimulation of genitals that brings sexual sensation and eventually orgasm. Touching yourself is actually making love with yourself. Remember the maxim that you can only love others fully if you love yourself. So if you have feeling of inadequacies or sexual disturbance, how can you resolve or give yourself to others and have a blissful lovemaking? Masturbation is healthy and can help you have a better sex life. But of course, a word of caution, you should never in anyway be fixated with your own fingers-it will not only erase your fingerprints but will also alienate your partner.

Furthermore, touching yourself can be pleasurable, relaxing and therapeutic. Just like massage, it can have stroke varieties. It can be soft or hard, circular or with deep pressure. All of these motion combos can be done to achieve body satisfaction. It can also be basic or advanced. Aside from the pleasure that it brings, it can help you locate your erogenous zones, G-spot, and the maneuvers that makes you moan and forget your name. Once you know it, you can share it to your partner, thus having higher chances of mind-blowing sex.

Now if you are okay with masturbation and you do not have any second thoughts, you can actually surprise your partner by touching yourself in front of him. Of course you need to discern first if he will like it or will he freak out and run. But for most guys, they love it. Maybe when you are running out of sexual positions, try parallel play. It is very sexy. Both of you can also do mutual masturbation.

If you want to experience this, just get yourself in the mood for doing it. Relax, lock the door, and have your sister send your puppy to the park first. Find a comfortable position, undress and feel sexy. Then fantasize and imagine. It can be the last porn you’ve seen, a sex magazine, Manolo pumps, or your hottest sexual encounter. Slowly touch yourself, explore your body parts. Touch yourself with one or two fingers with different pressure, motion, speed and intensity. Timing is important. Change phase, change hands. Breath deeply and fantasize some more till it heightens your excitement. And remember, your ring finger is a preferable since it’s powerful but gentle. In your first few instances, you might not reach the zenith, but believe me, practice makes perfect.

INFIDELITY: What are the warning signs?